I’m Over My Sugar Coma

Yesterday I claimed to be done with sweets. Today, I confess, that I spoke too hastily.
I can’t help it; I’m a flip-flopper, a la John Kerry. I was for dessert before I was against it.

Um, whatever.

Please pardon my dopey right wing extremist humor. Because, as you know, according to Janet Napolitano, I’m some sort of extremist, militia member because I happen to be pro-life.
Alrighty. End rant.

And on to more important things: Dessert.

I bought this tasty ice cream, which I have no intention of sharing, a few days ago.
I finally cracked open the carton this evening and wow, that is some good tasting ice cream.

Chocolate and marshmallow ice cream with graham cracker swirl (huh?), marshmallows and chocolatey chips.
And you know that when the chips are “chocolatey” you’re eating some all natural stuff. And you know I’m all about the natural food.
No really, I am. Remember my ugly breakfast?
Wait, does diet pepsi count? Pop tarts? Baked cheetos?
So maybe only 75% 65% 50% of my diet is praise worthy. But look, I’m a boring housewife with nothing but a computer and talk radio to keep me entertained. I need something to look forward to. And if it’s any consolation, I buy the pop tarts with fiber in them; that should count for something, right?

I confess that I’m not a huge marshmallow fan, but they work in this ice cream.
I take that back, I do like some marshmallows, especially the ones in Lucky Charms (which I never buy and never ate as a kid…so I’m not even sure why I like them? Maybe I only like them in my head?) but I hate Peeps and those totally disgusting circus peanuts with a fiery passion.
I don’t think I’ve ever met a single person who claims to like them. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone buy them, either. Which begs the question, why does Brachs still make them? Or maybe they did stop producing them, but the shelf life of the circus peanuts is so long that they are still sellable.

Anyway, the ice cream is worth the three bucks. Still slightly hung over from my taste testing, baked good binge yesterday, I was careful to eat only the suggested half cup serving. Which reminds me of a time a few years ago when I set out to see if there really were 16 servings in a half gallon of ice cream. Of course, now the half gallons are 1.75 quarts and have only 12 (or 14?) servings. Sneaky ice cream manufacturers. They thought we wouldn’t notice, but believe me, when it comes to ice cream, I notice. Oh, I notice.
And the same thing goes for tuna cans. They used to be 6oz, now they’re 5oz.
Somehow talk of ice cream and tuna in the same paragraph makes me feel a little queasy.
Moving along… I set out on my quest for ice cream carton serving size accuracy. You know, for science. Or math?
Only, I made my way through about three servings when I had to throw the ice cream away.
She threw ice cream away!?!
Yep. I did.
Not because I wanted to, but because I was nursing baby Caroline at the time and she developed a very odd rash. Puzzled by the yucky rash and uncertain of it’s cause, I started with my diet, eliminating anything that might be an allergen.
Since I tended to eat the same types of foods and nothing had bothered her in the past, I concluded that the only culprit could be the pecans in my caramel pecan ice cream.
Bye bye ice cream.
Bye bye rash.

Thankfully that was some sort of fluke because Caroline isn’t allergic to anything now (well, except for penicillin….”it’s just a bug bite…stop scratching and you’ll stop itching….oh wait, your entire back is red, blotchy and bumpy….maybe it’s NOT a bug bite”).

Tomorrow is root canal day. As much as I wish this weren’t happening, we’re all eager to just get it over with.
Caroline is thrilled to be missing school, since, you know, first grade is so demanding and all.
Under the circumstances, she’d probably rather be at school, but at least she’s focusing on the positive stuff.
We’ll leave the worry to mom.

Other than the Novocaine, it doesn’t seem as if the dentist will be drugging her up. She’s tough and will be just fine, but I sure could use a Valium.


One response

  1. Where do I even begin with my comments? Circus peanuts and Peeps are an acquired taste. They’re only good when they’re stale. They have to be almost hard, and then they can be savored.I was just hankering for a toasted marshmallow yesterday.As for Lucky Charms…they are of the devil. That’s why yo mama never gave you none.”It’s just a bug bite” reminds me of The Head Lice Incident.”Mom, my head itches!” “Well, scratch it.”I think that explains a lot, don’tcha think?Prayin’ 4 the kid…and Caroline too on Root Canal Day.


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