Now I Know What It’s Like to Be a Pioneer Woman

No, not THAT Pioneer Woman. I only wish I could be like her; making decadent food and taking gorgeous pictures. I am far too afraid of butter and cream to be like her. Much like my beloved Ina.
I admire them both from afar, but know that my inner neurosis and personal hang ups, particularly of the culinary kind, will keep me from following in their footsteps, completely. I’ll happily bake with butter when the goodies immediately leave my possession, but never use it for every day cooking. We’re Smart Balance people. Non hydrogenated. Heart Healthy. LDL. HDL. Blah, blah, blah.

I tend to make breakfast for dinner on Sundays. It’s easy and something that all three of us enjoy. Last week I made biscuits (cheater…from the heart healthy Bisquick mix) and as Craig was spreading (or trying to spread) our heart healthy, omega 3, Smart Balance, he whined informed me that he wished we had real butter like we had at his sister’s house for Thanksgiving. The real butter spread they offered was easy to glide over the bread and tasty to boot. I agree; it was tasty. But, again, I have terrible food hang ups and I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m afraid of real butter. In typical Alison fashion, I told him tough luck.

Butter is for baking; Smart Balance is for daily eating. How dare I want to help him maintain satisfactory cholesterol levels that will keep him healthy and living for a long time. Of course, we now know that butter isn’t as evil as once thought; it’s margarine that should be avoided.
And still, whenever I ingest anything that contains real butter, I imagine my arteries immediately hardening.

That kind of sucks the joy out of eating, sometimes.

I should add that there are exceptions to the butter rule; I am the “Butter Commissioner” and therefore am the sole legislator and enforcer of all butter related decisions.

Someday Craig will thank me.



Anyway, before I started yammering on about butter, I noted how my life was similar to that of the pioneer women today. Again, I’m not talking about THE Pioneer Woman, I’m talking about ladies in the olden days who birthed many children, skinned and cooked her husband’s hunted offerings, washed the clothes by hand and hung them to dry. The hard core ladies that lived without running water and electricity, darning socks by candle light and boiling water on the stove to heat the bath water.

I didn’t do any of those things to day, but I can assure you that I sure did feel quite primitive today when we were without internet ALL DAY LONG. Gasp. Sigh. You must be shocked and dismayed by this unfortunate situation; sending me cyber sympathy due to my horrible plight.
It was a hardship that no one should endure, but I’m happy to report that I survived.

I’m a tough girl. I can do without many some things, but asking me to be without internet is cruel and unusual punishment. Internet surfage, blog reading and twittering comprises a majority of my waking hours. Sad, but most certainly and undeniably true.

Poor Craig was as equally dismayed as I was. He paced and stewed and muttered obscenities under his breath because he could not check his football picks and his standing in this week’s office betting pool.
We were an unhappy pair.

Consequently, it was a quiet and boring day. I managed to do a little kitchen work: prepared snickerdoodle dough (which is baking right now) and Nutter Butter truffles (which I don’t like as much as their Oreo counterpart, boo.) I decluttered. I dusted. If I had not done all the laundry yesterday, I would have done that, too.
I also watched a few episodes of Clean House and shivered at the sight of those horrifically cluttered homes. Really, how could anyone let their house get that bad? I understand that not everyone is like me. There are people out there who do not have mild panic-like attacks when things are out of place. There are people who enjoy themselves regardless of the pile of junk accumulating on their counter tops. There are people who can think clearly when their desks are unorganized.
I admire that.
I’m not sure how my brain became wired in such a way that I’m incapable of that type of attitude.

I wonder what it’s like to be laid back and content?

I’ll have to ponder that for awhile and perhaps make some positive changes in my life. Changes that will enable me to relax and enjoy life no matter what is going on around me.

Yeah, I’ll have to do that.

But first, I have to go obsess over the fact that my cookies joined together while in the oven and now many of them have a flat side where I had to use a spatula to separate them from their neighbor on the cookie sheet.



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