And Merry Christmas To You, Too

I received my first taste of Grinch-like holiday un-cheer today. I know it’s talked of, but I can truthfully say that I haven’t ever experienced it before; perhaps it’s because my presence alone inspires those around me to act kindly and cheerfully at all times.

I went to Home Depot this morning to purchase a toilet handle; ours had been on the effectiveness decline for sometime and finally went caput yesterday when I jiggled the handle and it broke off for no apparent reason. Toilet handles are an easy fix, one that even a plumbing novice, like me, could repair with minimal effort.

The greeter at the front of the store directed me to aisle 12. I walked down aisle 12, but was unable to locate the toilet handles. Thankfully a man at the end of aisle 12, told me to try again, because they were actually there.

He was right.

I walked right past them. Not that this info should surprise anyone.

As with many things these days, there were many choices (brass, nickel plated, stainless steel, plain white) and I could have gotten overwhelmed with the decision in front of me, but I recalled my dad’s sage advice he offered last night: get an all plastic set. And that’s what I did; because I always do what I’m told.

Unlike a trip to Target where it’s impossible to leave the store with only the items you intended to purchase, nothing else in the aisles of Home Depot seemed to be calling my name. That’s the beauty of being a renter; you don’t ever feel the need to remodel or upgrade your faucets and flooring. For homeowners, Home Depot is a money pit and offers way too many new and eye catching ideas to fix up your house. Someday we’ll own a home, and be on the prowl for insulation and light fixtures, but not while Uncle Sam is still the boss.
So, as I was saying, nothing caught my eye (not even the paint rollers and PVC pipe) so I walked myself and my all plastic toilet handle to the self checkout scanners.

The one I was standing by didn’t seem to be working properly so as I was trying to get the attention of the associate working by self checkout, this woman, obviously in quite a hurry, came up behind me and summoned the associate loudly to see what the deal was. The associate replied quietly and with somewhat of a confused look on her face that it probably needed to be rebooted.
Evidently that is done at the register she was sitting at, but the woman behind me started yammering on about how “they” want jobs, but don’t want to do the work, etc. And then she said, “It wouldn’t hurt her (the H.D. associate) to move a little; if she did a little moving, she might not be so fat.”

I actually gasped when I heard that; I couldn’t even turn around and look at her. I’ve said some hurtful and unsavory things in my life, but I was honestly shocked and appalled that an old woman (with a poinsettia in her arms!) would say something so horrible about a stranger.

While bad tidings of hate and meanness were being uttered by the woman behind me, the system was rebooted and the screen then said “loading…please be patient.” Clearly Mrs. Grinch wasn’t in the mood to be told to be patient, so she took off in a huff.

Sheesh.

What could have been a delightful story of the successful purchase of a toilet handle, turned sour and unjoyful by the words and impatience of a grumpy old lady.
We need positive plumbing stories in our lives; this one, I fear, has been tainted.

Bah.

Heh, I’m listening to the radio while I type this and the news lady just said that President Obama was at a Home Depot in Alexandria, VA today encouraging people to insulate their homes and get new windows to further increase their homes’ energy efficiency. According to the President, “Insulation is sexy.”

Um, okay? Sure.

I live in the Alexandria area, but went to a Home Depot in neighboring city, so I missed out on this invigorating speech on the sexiness of insulation. Bummer.

Interesting enough, while I was in aisle 12 today, one of the associates approached me asked if I would be interested in a free window/insulation estimate. I guess word of the President’s message spread rapidly to the surrounding area Home Depot stores.

Let’s just hope men, with any ounce of common sense or working brain cells, do not buy their wives or girlfriends insulation for Christmas. Sure, energy efficiency and low heating bills are most desirous, I’ll admit to that. However, just because Obama says insulation is sexy, new windows are NOT an acceptable Christmas gift.

Not even Obama’s 100 watt smile could sell that idea to the women of the world.

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One response

  1. I'm buying stock in insulation today! I laughed at your "We need positive plumbing stories in our lives." You a clever gurl.The mean lady: How rude!Boo! Hope her poinsettia dies!

Yo.

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