Crunchy

Not only am I going green, but it appears that I’m turning crunchy, too. However, I assure you that no matter how crunchy I become, I will always shave my legs (and arm pits!) and I will never wear Birkenstocks.

I had to forgo my gym trip this morning because my body is falling apart. I’ll spare you the details today, but I can’t promise that I won’t go full-on whiner mode tomorrow and share with you the woes of my ailment prone life. Because I had nothing to do this morning, and mostly because I’ve been out of almond butter for far too long, I ventured out to Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s to spend far too much money on things I probably didn’t need.

I love both of these stores but don’t go to either very often. Neither are conveniently located and I always feel oddly out of place in these stores (mostly Whole Foods). Seems kind of dumb to say that, but it’s a feeling I can’t shake. Except it’s safe to say that my political affiliation and our income level aren’t well represented if you survey the parking lot. In this broad, sweeping generalization, I think it’s fair to say that the Whole Foods parking lot is filled with luxury cars and vehicles (or hybrids!) with Obama bumper stickers.

How’s that for stereotyping?

Moving along….after a quick trip to Starbucks for a misto with cinnamon dolce syrup, my crunchy grocery shopping commenced.

I didn’t buy a whole lot, but here is my loot:


For some reason I bought golden beets. I like beets and have been wanting to buy some for awhile now. I opted for the golden variety as to not turn myself and my kitchen beet red. And yet, I have NO idea what to do with them. How do you even cook beets? I guess I better do some Googlizing.

They may be a mystery to me, but they sure are undeniably pretty. In an earthy, just pulled from the soil and covered with hairy strings kind of way.

To please Caroline, I also bought an artichoke. She’s been wanting to try one for a while, but the artichokes at the commissary are usually expensive, wilted and lackluster. These were only $2 piece, which is a steal. Of course, after Whole Foods, I saw artichokes at Trader Joe’s for $1 each! Oh well. I haven’t had a fresh artichoke in YEARS so I look forward to sharing this with Caroline.

Besides almond butter, the whole point of my trip was to find aluminum free deodorant. There has been some chatter that aluminum isn’t the best for women, since there has been some research done that links it with breast cancer. Whether or not this is true, I don’t know. But, I thought I’d give the aluminum free stuff a shot.

I also bought a new pillow! Not at Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s, of course. I made a pit stop to the Kmart next door to TJs and found a pillow to replace the stained silk pillow on my bed.

See, there are spots on my NO BODY PARTS pillow. Obviously, some of my family members do not take my rules seriously.

You know, I’ve been thinking about this “crunchy” business.

Sure, I may eat bulgur and muesli.

And sprinkle chia seeds in my yogurt or oatmeal.

I make kale chips

And take probiotics

I sweeten my green tea (which I still think tastes like dirt, but mix with regular tea)

with stevia

but do you know what?

I’d be lost without

and

And my allegiance will always lie with


No amount of granola will ever cause my love for diet Pepsi to cease.

Guess I’m not so crunchy after all.

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