Be Careful What You Google: Part Two

Back in June, I shared with you some of the random search queries people used which resulted in them stumbling upon my blog. Wow, that was an incredibly awkward sentence. My apologies.

From Toronto, Canada to Riyadh, Saudi Arabia and from India to Hummelstown, Pennsylvania computer users from all over the world have wholly trusted Google with their search inquiries. Search inquiries that (probably mistakingly) led them to me, the Neurotic Housewife. Ain’t the Internet grand? Thanks, Al Gore. Thank you for your amazing Internet. I’m sure it’s safe to assume that what I have to offer here on this humble blog is NOT what most of these Google users were looking for, but it’s nice that they clicked over anyway. I’ll take what I can get.

If you missed the first installment of Be Careful What You Google, click here.

HomeGoods

HomeGoods is one of my favorite stores. I love linens and nice plates. I don’t own many nice linens or plates, but I like looking at them. In the past week I’ve been to HomeGoods four times. I just cannot commit to a sheet color yet. This sheet shopping has become a mildly obsessive fixation for me. As if I need any more of those…

Who needs pictures

My mom. She’s still wants real pictures even though she just saw her only grandchild in the flesh a month ago. It’s a feat of epic proportions that I manage to post pictures on this blog. I’ll get prints made eventually. And by eventually, I mean when Snapfish sends me an email saying “buy prints or we’ll close your account.” That’s the kind of shove I need.

Housewife homemade

I like homemade stuff. I can understand this one.

Who chooses dressing room lighting

Several people have stumbled upon my blog using these search terms. I guess I wasn’t the only one wondering.

Sites for neurotic Army moms

Technically, I’m an Army wife, not an Army mom, but I can understand this woman’s search. It’s not easy staying sane when your husband or son/daughter has sold their soul to Uncle Sam.

Alison, brie, pierced

Um, you got me on this one.

Paints his toenails

Again, other than the fact that I painted my toe nails for the first time in years the other day, I’m not sure about this one. Although, Caroline once painted Craig’s toenail and while that would somewhat clarify the “paints HIS toenails,” I don’t think I ever blogged about it. At the time of the pedicure, we didn’t have any nail polish remover, but it didn’t seem to bother Craig too much. He’s so Metro. Although, during the time he had the painted toe nails, Craig had to go to the doctor for a check up or something. When we talked about the weigh in, I asked if he took his shoes off (you know, like every woman in the world does before she steps on a scale) and he said he couldn’t because he had polish on his toe nails and he didn’t want to be the recipient of any disapproving stares.

housewife in dressing room photos

Um, there’s no way I’d ever take pictures of my body in a dressing room. Florescent lighting? Three way mirrors? Not flattering at all.

used housewife

That’s me. My new car smell has definitely worn off; I’ll be on the clearance rack before long.

neurotic housewife

Well, that’s a given.


and last but not least, my two personal favorites

housewives sucking

Hey, Google, that was kind of mean spirited, don’t you think? So some one enters the search terms housewives+sucking and you pull up MY blog. I’m slightly offended. You don’t even know me, Google; there’s no reason to be so mean.

self absorbed, neurotic

Yep, that pretty much says it all.

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