14

14 years!

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It’s our 14th anniversary today. Fourteen looooong years. 😉

I’d say it seems like only yesterday Craig and I got married, but you know, it doesn’t. So much has happened in these past fourteen years. Some times it seems like time has flown by; but some times it seems like we’re not even the same people we were back then.

In many ways, that’s probably a good thing. Although, I’m sure Craig would happily take back some of the hair he had atop his head back then. Oh, and the side burns. I almost forgot about those. I suppose it’s a good thing we got married before digital cameras were all the rage because the few photos we have are tucked away somewhere and I’m not about to scan them.

I’ll spare you the pictures, but here’s the rundown: I was young (19!), in college, at least 20 lbs overweight, had a lot of frizzy hair and I wore a blue dress. Craig had hair (and Elvis side burns!) and was heavier then he is now. Perhaps we’ve defied the odds and improved with age? We got married in my mother-in-law’s living room by a Justice of the Peace five days before Craig was due to ship off to Korea for a year. He never made it to Korea, but that’s a whole different story.

Anyway, if you’ve been reading The Neurotic Housewife for any length of time, it won’t come as a surprise to you that I am not sappy. I was born without the sappy, sentimental, squishy, gooey, Hallmark gene. I’m completely okay with this. I think other people should be as sappy as they wish; I, however, remain sap-free.

No pancakes in the shape of hearts. No lengthy handwritten love letters. No carefully picked out presents and meaningful cards. We don’t have a song (well, Craig claims it is “Gangsta’s Paradise” by Coolio, but I’m not so sure) and last year we took Caroline with us out to dinner to celebrate our 13th anniversary.

I’m a real chump, huh?

Actually, I consider this a big favor to Craig. If I were the romantic type, he’d happily comply, with nary a complaint, but since I do not require some sort of unbelievably high standard to be met, he’s off the hook. That’s not so chumpy after all. Right?

Anyway, since I am absolutely incapable of (and wholly uncomfortable with) sappy sentiment, I’ve decided that instead of saying something forced, I’ll focus on the fact that Craig deserves some sort of medal for meritorious spousalhood. Trust me, putting up with me isn’t exactly the easiest job in the universe. I’m not a high-maintenance princess by any stretch of the imagination, but my neurotic tendencies more than make up for it.

In celebration of fourteen years of marriage (and making Craig slowly lose his hair), I thought I’d list fourteen reasons why I should be thankful Craig remains my (long suffering) husband to this day.

I admit that I’m being completely honest with this list, but to be fair, you’ll see an asterisk by a few of the items. That way I can defend myself. Trust me, some of these will require defense on my part.

14 Reasons Why Craig Deserves A Major Award

1. I have a hard time remembering numbers, passwords and login IDs. Last week I locked him out of our bank account because I couldn’t get the password right.

2. After I drive his car, I never return the seat to the position he likes to have it in. Because I’m so short, when he gets in, his knee caps are wedged up into his arm pits.

3. I make a fuss when he opens a package of lunch meat before a previously opened package is eaten. The same thing goes for cereal boxes.

4. I never notice when he gets a hair cut.

5. The other day I have him the nastiest, most hateful, evil glare when he tried to eat my last two squares of dark chocolate.

6. When we visit Florida, we always stay with my parents; never with his mom.*

7. I refuse to watch sci-fi or fantasy movies with him. Back before Caroline was born, we’d go to separate movies because I don’t like those kinds of movies. Since Caroline has been born, he goes alone, or with a movie friend (if he can find one).

8. I maintain a set of strict (and perhaps a tad unreasonable) pillow rules.

9. I don’t use pet names. **

10. I don’t like to share my ice cream.

11. I put away his belongings (to clear up the clutter) and then forget where I put them.

12. I make a big fuss when he tries to grow a beard and have threatened divorce if he grows a mustache. Just the other day I told him people will think I’m married to a grandpa because his beard is liberally peppered with white hair.***

13. When he was deployed I would forget to send care packages unless he reminded me. ****

14. After he was rear ended in a car accident when we lived in Hawaii, I asked how the car was before I asked how HE was!*****

Ah, a chance to redeem myself.

*–we generally stay with my parents due to logistical/space issues more than anything. Actually now we’ll probably have to stay in a hotel when we visit, so this will be a moot point on our next trip to Florida.

**–the no pet names thing goes along with the anti-mush gene. I. Just. Can’t. Do. It.

***–I’m not THAT mean; I was teasing him. I honestly am not a fan of facial hair of the beard/mustache variety. I’m okay with soul patches and perhaps a goatee, IF it’s just a short lived experiment.

****–because Craig was on a diet when he deployed, I didn’t know what to send him. Generally goodie boxes are filled with junk and I was at a loss for what to include. Now that I know what works, I will no longer need any prompting.

****–when I spoke to him on the phone after the accident, he sounded great, not in any pain and he wasn’t calling from the hospital, so I KNEW that he was fine. Intuition, perhaps? If he had not sounded fine, I would not have asked about the car first. I do have a soul. 🙂

So after reading this list, I suspect that all of you will have a new found respect for Craig. He’s a real trooper, for sure.

I guess I’m kind of lucky.

Happy Anniversary Craig!

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5 responses

  1. Happy Anniversary, Craig and Alison! I remember getting a letter from you in college telling me you'd gotten married and my mouth being open for a long time. 🙂 I am certainly a sappy girl myself, so I wanted the wedding and the sappy stuff. And Charlie had better write something nice in a card on our anniversary! And a present. A nice one.

  2. Thanks Sissy! Believe me, there are a few things I would have done differently and telling you in letter form would definitely be one of them.Craig and I didn't exchange presents OR cards. Gasp! We used to but we haven't in the past few years.But, we did go out to dinner tonight. With Caroline! And then I went to back to school night while they stayed home. Contrary to what some might think, Caroline is an excellent dinner date. Plus, she encouraged us to order some french fries and they turned out to be some of the best, hot, crunchy fries we've eaten in a very long time. 🙂

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