Mid-Life Crisis

Ack!

I think I’m having a mid-life crisis. At least, that’s what I decided as I was drying my hair at the gym this morning; that’s where I do my best thinking.  I turn 35 in exactly one month.  Thirty. Five.  35!!

I keep repeating the words ‘thirty five’ over and over, thinking it’ll sound better with repetition, but it doesn’t get any easier to hear.  I’m not sure, at this moment, that I hate any two words more than thirty and  five.  Not even munch.  Or moist.  Or verbage.  Thirty five is the worst of the worst.

Yesterday, in a fit of middle-aged angst, I found myself laying on my bedroom floor (I like laying on carpet) thinking to myself, THIS is my life.  THIS.   Me in on my bedroom floor, hiding from Caroline and her friend who were trying to play Lady Gaga songs on their recorders, alternating between My First Renovation on HGTV and the NFL on Fox pregame show.  I kept staring at Terry Bradshaw’s face wondering what looks different about him and after too long trying to figure it out, I sighed deeply and said ‘so THIS is what my life has become.’

And then I ate three peanut butter swirl brownies.  Straight from the freezer.

On the one hand, I’m pretty lucky.  I do what I want.  I don’t have to work.  I’m a lady of leisure.  I shouldn’t complain.

But on the other hand, I’ve lost any marketable skill I ever possessed.   Somehow I doubt knowing how to do a proper squat and clean and press will help me in any future professional endeavors I choose to pursue.  Unless I become a personal trainer.

I don’t know?

Maybe it was just a bad day?

Or, maybe it is a mid-life crisis?

I guess I just figured life would be different.  You know, like you imagined it would be when you were a kid.  Puppies and rainbows and faces free from wrinkles.  It’s not bad.  It’s not great.  It just is.  Sometimes I’m completely okay with that.  And other days, when I’m hiding from two girls squeaking painfully through the melody of “Bad Romance,”  I’m not okay with it at all.

And also?  Did Terry Bradshaw do something to his face?  He looks different.

Okay, enough whining for one day.  I think I’ll go research convertibles and Botox now.  Or maybe a tattoo?

Viva la mid-life crisis!

Advertisements

8 responses

  1. Haha! I’ve had my share of quarter-life crises. I’ve definitely had more than my share of ennui. I am over flowing with the blues. All of it ends up being temporary, if you don’t count the fact that these instances are recurring.*

    • I love the word ennui! You’re right about the recurring part; It’s the cyclical nature of it all that is overwhelming. Things are great. Then they’re bad. Then they’re okay again. Up and down. Up and down. Makes me dizzy.

      Hang in there!

  2. I’m glad you finally freaked out about the fact that we’re turning 35! It is staring me right in the face and I’m not happy about it at all. Yes, I agree, life doesn’t always turn out the way we plan. I love teaching and I like having a job, but there are times when I wish my life was a little more globe-trotting (and not in a Craig-like way). LOL. And I have to renew my license before I turn 35, and then not again until 40. I don’t think I want to be 40. Oh, I’m not going to think about it. I still feel 23.

  3. I’m glad you are. alive that is. not sure why my comment posted as nancy kennedy….I did it from work. maybe that computer doesn’t know me as mom.

Yo.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s