I’m a white Christmas lights kind of person. I don’t hate colored lights. They’re sparkly and fun and virtually impossible to hate. I just prefer the white variety for my house. My monster fake Christmas tree came pre-lit (which, is the best thing EVER) so I haven’t had to deal with lights in many years. Honestly? There is nothing worse than wrestling with strands of tangled lights. Thus my reasoning for buying a pre-lit tree. Christmas is supposed to be joyful and fun; untangling lights is neither of those things. Wrapping lights around the Christmas tree is a surefire way to get Alison to curse. Sin is sin, but I think it’s entirely more sinful to curse by a Christmas tree.
Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh yes, lights. Thanks to my pre lit tree, I don’t mess with lights. Of course, if we did the outside lights a la Clark Griswold kind of thing, I would have to mess with them yearly, but we don’t do outside lights. I’m no Clark Griswold. As Caroline says, ‘our house is festive on the INside.’ I wouldn’t mind having outside Christmas lights, it’s just that I don’t really know where to start; it seems so involved and labor intensive. And also, we don’t have a ladder. Yes, we have a three story townhouse and no ladder. I pray that the overhead light in our bathroom, which is way, way, WAY up in the vaulted ceiling, never burns out because if it did, we wouldn’t be able to replace it. I suppose we could buy a ladder. But, that makes too much sense.
Anyhow, I went on a mission for a strand of white lights this week. Plain white lights. Not dancing lights. Not colored lights. Not netted lights for shrubberies. Not lights in the shape of snowflakes. Not outdoor icicle lights. Plain white lights. I have one strand of lights wrapped around the branches of a fake tree in my living room. It adds a little ambiance to our dungeon downstairs. I’ve owned that strand of lights forever and often forget about them. I decided on a whim the other night that I ABSOLUTELY NEEDED to add a strand of white lights to the greenery on my fireplace mantle. Like NEEDED. Needed in such a way that I would feel like my life was a complete and utter failure if I did not get a strand of white lights to wrap around the greenery on my mantle. So, I went searching for white lights. Because, while I’m sure my life will be considered a failure in many ways, failing at life because I didn’t have a strand of white lights on my fireplace mantle is even a little too over-the-top for me to handle. I checked Walmart, Target, Michaels, the PX and Home Depot and came up empty at every store. After striking out repeatedly, I concluded that they either do not make simple strands of non blinking, non snowflake shaped white lights anymore, or I should have bought them in August when the shelves were packed with Christmas lights.
But don’t you worry, this story has a happy ending. After I checked Home Depot this afternoon (after picking up Craig’s car, which seems to be working quite nicely) I decided, on a whim, to look next door at Bed Bath and Beyond. And wouldn’t you believe they had ONE box of plain white lights left on the shelf! It’s a Christmas miracle! It would have been even more miraculous had I kept the 20% off coupon I received in the mail yesterday, but that’s just pressing my luck, I suppose.
I wish I could get a better picture, but the fireplace is in our downstairs, poorly lit, dungeon.
It looks way better in person.
In conclusion, there is a lesson to be learned in all of this. 1) Alison is needs a life 2) buy your Christmas lights early 3) if you don’t, learn to like colorful, dancing, snowflake shaped lights 4) always keep your Bed Bath and Beyond 20% off coupons in your purse and not on your kitchen counter.