It’s March, so I suppose I should say something like, ‘I can’t believe it’s March!’ followed by, ‘where has the time gone?’ Everyone seems to say things like that because it’s obligatory. But also? Everyone says things like that because it’s true. Time flies. Time flies whether you’re having fun or not. Time flies whether you want it to or not.
Where has the time gone?
Spring is around the corner. Daffodils have popped up in my neighbor’s flower beds. Buds are appearing at the end of once barren tree branches. Can I be honest with you all for a minute? I’ll say this in a whisper because I’m sure what I’m about to share with you is considered blasphemy to most: I don’t like spring.
There, I said it. I don’t like spring.
Sure, I like blooming trees and flowers and I don’t necessarily hate spring rain showers or the warmish (but not too warm) days. What I dread about spring is two-fold: 1) I don’t like when it stays light so late and 2) after spring comes summer and I H-A-T-E summer. Hate it. Hate is a strong word, I know, but believe me, if I could use a stronger word, I would. I do not like summer. I do not like in on a plane. I do not like it on a train.
I see spring as nothing more than the precursor to the horrors of the season we call summer.
I realize I’m in the minority here. I’m okay with that. I dread spring and I’m not afraid to admit it. I dread the nights when the sun stays up until well past 8pm; you can’t put your jammies on at 6:30 when the daylight is still streaming through the windows. I dread the pollen which coats our cars in a thin layer of yellow dust. I dread the pollen which invades my sinuses and causes ugly things to happen. I dread standing in the rain at soccer practice.
It’s already March.
Where has the time gone?
I’m sad that we’re nearing the end of the last winter we’ll experience for a few years. Hawaii doesn’t really have winter. And, yes, I actually like winter.
I was hoping to savor every last moment of our last year here in Virginia, but I fear instead of savoring and enjoying, I’ve been worrying and obsessing. I worry endlessly and forget to look up and breathe. I forget to stop and enjoy our last year in a climate which offers four unique season (yes, even that blasted summer season I so adamantly oppose). I forget to soak up the moments we spend with our friends and neighbors; instead I spend my free time worrying about things I cannot control. I wake up every morning with a renewed sense of determination to make the most of our months left in Virginia; sometimes I’m successful; other times I find myself counting the minutes until I can fall in to my bed and start over again the next day.
Really? Where has the time gone.
In a few short months I’ll have a rising fifth grader. In a few short months three of my friends, each with three children, will have all moved. Knowing that my friends and many of Caroline’s playmates are leaving doesn’t make me feel any better about the fact that spring (and summer) is around the corner. How is one supposed to survive the summer when there aren’t many kids to play with? Also, how is one (ahem, me) supposed to survive the summer without friends to chat with while we watch our kids swim their hearts out at the pool?
Yep, I’m not digging this spring thing at all. No siree.
Gah, am I full of sunshine and light, or what? The funny thing is that today was a nice day and I don’t have any reason to be in such a funk. I think I’ve been thinking more and more about our impending move, which adds a whole different layer of anxiety to my life. I’m excited about going to Hawaii, but getting there….and saying good bye to a place we’ve called home for four years…..leaves me feeling a bit overwhelmed. As much as I’ll miss Northern Virginia and want to hold on to every last minute we have here, I think a move will provide us with a bit of a (much needed) fresh start. Even though I technically don’t mind when Craig is gone (yes, I said that…that’s 15 years of military life for you!), back-to-back deployments have taken their toll. We’ve become so accustomed to living our own separate lives that I fear reacclimating to a family of three lifestyle here would present some real challenges. It’ll be far easier to give up everything here and start fresh somewhere new than for us to try to fit each other back in to the lives we’ve made for ourselves while we’ve been apart. For that reason, I look forward to getting to Hawaii. But for many more reasons, particularly those of the logistical variety, I dread going to Hawaii. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could blink and be there? And while we’re at it, can I blink and have my gym transport itself to Hawaii, as well?
As it stands, we’re in limbo. Ah, limbo….I think it’s technical military term. There isn’t anything we can do right now and there won’t be anything we can do for a bit.
It’s March. Spring is in the air; summer is lurking around the corner. We’re in limbo and all my friends are moving.
Where has the time gone?