Yikes, life has been crazy lately. Of course, by crazy, I mean, not that crazy at all. Perhaps a bit wonky, but mostly, just as boring as ever. Anyhow, it all started on Sunday evening when our cable started acting wonky. By Monday, none of the channels worked. Before we left for soccer practice, some of the channels worked; when we arrived home from soccer practice, only the Disney Channel worked. I kid you not. It was as if Verizon Fios and the Disney Channel were in cahoots to make my life miserable. Not too long after, the Disney Channel went out, thus ending my conspiracy theory suspicions. And because living without television is completely unacceptable, I placed a call to the tech people at Fios.
After a few diagnostics, which were performed through a computer operated by a guy in San Antonio, the cable magically started working again. Caroline and I were able to watch the last half of Dancing with the Stars and all was good in the world.
That is, until I started watching a show called ‘Scandal’ and just as I was about to learn about the main character’s affair with the President, the cable went out again.
It’s a conspiracy to get me to read more, I think.
On Tuesday, I spent an hour on the phone with the Fios guy in San Antonio, trying every trick in the book to make my channels reappear. All diagnostics failed and it was determined that I needed a new cable box, which was sent via overnight UPS. Thankfully, we could still watch pre-recorded shows on our DVR and any On Demand shows. Otherwise, I probably wouldn’t have been so easy going about the whole thing. And also, if you make a 10 year old go without tv for too long, she starts to get cranky. Book reading in silence only goes so far, you know.
Pioneer women we ain’t.
Yesterday our new cable box arrived. I set it up and saw the same stupid message: channels unavailable. I placed another call to my friends at Fios and after a series of diagnostic tests and tricks, it was determined that the problem was not the cable box, but probably something in the wiring. He set up an appointment for a real live service guy(apparently, they do exist) to come out and fix the problem. Once again limited to only watching On Demand shows, Caroline and I watched ‘Tanked,’ an Animal Planet show. It’s a show about an aquarium tank building company in Las Vegas. I kind of hate fish and would never own an aquarium, but I must admit, the tanks they build are pretty awesome. After the three available episodes of Tanked were watched, we proceeded to view an episode of ”My Strange Addiction’ in which a girl admits to drinking five bottles of nail polish every day.
Now that we’ve lost a few brain cells with our ‘quality’ television watching (hey, at least it wasn’t Hillbilly Hand Fishing), I’m happy to report that the real live Fios guy is here now. In order to stay out of the way, I’m upstairs on my laptop, which appears to not have a properly functioning ‘d’ key. I didn’t realize it until now, but it has become quite clear that I use the letter ‘d’ often. I am, therefore, wholly unamused with this situation.
It was all good until my ‘d’ key started sticking.
In other news, two grown women had a screaming fight at my gym on Tuesday. One lady very sweetly lays out mats for a few of her friends before our 9 am ab class on Tuesdays and Fridays. When the other lady arrived, she was not amused that a mat was laid out in the spot she was hoping to use. And no, it wasn’t me. I may passive-aggressively sigh and shoot daggers when my spot is taken, but I’m not a confrontational kind of person. Also, as far as location goes, I’m a front and to the left kind of girl; the offended woman is a fan of the back and to the right position. Anyhow, the spot she wanted was taken up by an empty mat, reserved for someone else, and she SNAPPED. There was cussing and high decibel screaming and suggestions of kissing one’s Filipino ass. It was ugly.
Eventually they made up, but it certainly created an odd vibe for the remainder of the morning.
In addition to the crazy mat fight, I lost my iPod at the gym and it has not turned up in the lost and found. I hope whoever took it doesn’t think less of me when they listen to my iPod and find out I have an insane (and somewhat embarrassing) taste in music.
And then….yesterday at the gym, there were men in the lady’s locker room! It was a maintenance guy and a contractor guy, who were discussing roofing issues, or something. I thought they left, so I went to the shower and as I was showering, I heard their voices again! I hid in the shower for quite a while and when I shut the water off, a lady who works there told me they’d be done in three minutes, so I turned the water back on and waited. Evidently, I was so flustered by the experience that I left my shampoo and face wash in the shower, which I didn’t realize until I was getting ready to shower there this morning. I made do with the gym provided soap in the dispensers in the shower, but it didn’t do my hair any favors.
As you can see, it’s been a very exciting week around here.
The good news is that as I sat here and
got very angry at my ‘d’ key relived the past few days for you, the real live Fios man fixed our cable. Hooray!
Now I can watch the news. And The Food Network. And not shows about fish or obsessive ear pickers and dirt eaters.