Craig and Caroline drove to Florida on Thursday, thus beginning their week of fun with family and my staycation which will mainly consist of gym time and solitude. I figured once they left and I was not busy tending to their every need (because I’m such a loving, selfless wife and mother) I’d have a little more time to focus on blogging, but as it turns out, staycations of gym time and solitude are hardly blog worthy.
My life is pretty uninteresting with my family here, so it doesn’t come as much of a surprise that it’s even more uninteresting with them gone for the week.
I cleaned my house. I cleaned my car. I’ve spent numerous hours at the gym. I’ve eaten a lot of salad and brownies.
I took a nap. A real nap. Not a ten minute partial snooze while reading in my favorite chair. A real nap.
It’s been awesome.
Boring? Yes. Lonely? Perhaps a little. Awesome? Oh, yes. And honestly, this is what the doctor ordered.
Evidently, I’m really good at being a hermit, but I already knew that. In fact, last night as I brushed my teeth and got in to bed to read at 8pm (!) I decided that if I ever needed to be a hermit and/or a crazy cat lady, I’d be just fine. ‘Cept for the fact that I don’t have any cats.
For the past year I’ve been looking forward to this staycation; after doing the single mom thing for nearly two years (with a five month break in between deployments), I just really wanted a mental break. Of course, it should be noted that Caroline is a really good kid and handled the deployment time in her usual good-natured fashion, so it wasn’t exactly the most taxing experience of all time. But still, there was snot and vomit and late night freakouts over decorating her writers notebook. Oh, and not to mention, viola practice. And recorder practice. I feel stupid for requiring this time away from my family, considering how painless my ‘single mom’ days were, but it would require years of intensive therapy and a wide range of drugs for me to get to the bottom of the reason why I want/need/crave this staycation so badly.
I’m like the uber introvert.
I do enjoy gossiping with my friends and spending time with people; contrary to what some may think, I really do love my family (both immediate and extended). I’m not always people intolerant and I can actually be quite lovely in social settings. I don’t need this time by myself because I hate my family; I need this time by myself because I need the freedom to breathe, to clear my head and to perhaps worry a little less. I’m not positive that the ‘worry a little less’ part will actually happen, but here’s to a little wishful thinking.
I know not everyone understands why I would possibly want/crave/desire to be away from Craig and Caroline while they’re having fun, but you can’t please everybody, right? Some women wouldn’t dream of spending time away from their children; some wives fall apart if their husbands aren’t sleeping in the same bed next to them every night. Clearly, I’m not like that. It may not be ‘normal’ but it’s me and that’s all I know.
The best I can hope for is that Craig and Caroline have a great time with each other and with our family in Florida and return to a rested, relaxed and renewed Alison.